Parenting Tips You Won’t Find in a Book

Tools For Good Parents:

The Two Best Phrases Used To Keep My Sanity While Raising a Two-Year-Old:

1.  “It’s supposed to break.”

Pronunciation: IS-a-POST-ah-BREA-EEK?  (when repeated by said two-year-old)

Definition:  The item in question is, in fact, intended to be broken into more than one piece.   The fact that it has broken is a positive thing and should be celebrated, or at least acknowledged without any trace of sadness or frustration.

ex.  {While holding an oatmeal raisin cookie it breaks in half.  He looks up at me, alarmed, eyes wide, mouth open and ready to yell or cry.} Oh, don’t worry, Carlitos.  It’s supposed to break. Now you have two cookies to eat!  {Disaster has successfully been averted.}

ex.  {While playing ‘cars,’ he has somehow managed to rip off the entire hood of what seemed like an indestructible metal car.  He holds up the car, now in two pieces, looking really concerned and on the verge of some type of emotional outburst.} Oh, you know what, Carlitos?  It’s supposed to break. Now you have two cars! {Big smile.} Just, uh, don’t do that to any of your other cars, okay?

2.  “It makes you feel better.” (Please note, ‘you’  can be replaced with any number of body parts, tummy, mouth, and head being the most common.)

Pronunciation: IT-ah-MAAK-uh-MEE-FEEYL-bettah-MAHMEE? (Again, as repeated by said two-year-old.  Yes, you will recognize a distinct sing-song voice that always sounds like they are asking a question and almost sounds a little bit Italian.)

Definition: 1.  Whatever it is that I would like you to do will surely make you feel better.

2.  Doing the activity in question will fix whatever ails you and stop your tears.

ex.  {Crying. Tears. It is evident that he has bitten his tongue…as he has suddenly begun doing almost daily now for some reason.} Awww, Carlitos.  Drink your water.  It will make your mouth feel better. {Sips water, wipes away tears and looks at me, relieved and grateful.}

ex.  {Has eaten all pineapple on his lunch plate, but has yet to touch the turkey and cheese sandwich.} Carlitos, that pineapple will make your tummy hurt if you don’t eat some sandwich. I bet your tummy hurts already.  Eat some sandwich.  It will make your tummy feel better. {Notice, I actually created a ‘pain’ ahead of time in order to use this phrase to encourage him to eat the main part of his lunch.  This phrase is fantastic for this level of manipulation.  Although, pineapple will really tear the crap out of your stomach if you eat too much of it…}

ex. (Best one!)  {Carlitos seems grumpy.} You seem sad, Carlitos.  You should pick up all of your cars. It makes you feel better. (Yes! That’s a score for mommies all around the world!)

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3 Responses to Parenting Tips You Won’t Find in a Book

  1. Hello, excellent site, very rich in content and correctly carefully thought out, personally I found here much interesting and useful.

  2. [...] is enough to scare him straight.)  And you will probably never give fake reasons, as I suggest in Parenting Tips You Won’t Find in a Book (Part I), either.   Although I suggest you reconsider, because fake reasons also yield fantastic [...]

  3. [...] super lucky to have me as their mom.  I do great things like steal their best Halloween candy, trick them into eating foods they don’t want to eat, help them get dressed and give them fun presents like books and [...]

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