Crazytown ~ Population: 2 (my kids)

Example A:

The scene: Xavi is waving my house keys around (probably contemplating whether they belong in my rain boots or the Diaper Champ today).  He is offering up a nice combo of conversation and babbling.  He then looks upward out of the blue.

Xavi: No baby! No baby!

Me: No baby?  Where’s the baby?

Xavi: Baby outside.

Me: There’s a baby outside?

Xavi: Yeah, baby outside. {shoulder shrug}

Me: Why is there a baby outside, Xavi?

Xavi: Godputitthere.

Me: God put it there?

Xavi: {looks at me sideways and confused and shrugs again} Yeah.

Then Xavi looks up at the tree outside of his window.

Awesome.  Our neighbor’s tree is apparently haunted by a ghost baby.  Oh, and my kid sees dead people.

Example 2:

The scene: Dinner time.  Apparently, Mommy and Daddy had a glass of wine pre-meal or else this whole scenario would have ended in a Time Out long before it played out fully.

Husband: Carlitos, do you want one or two more ravioli?

Carlitos: …….

Husband: CARLITOS, do you want one or two more ravioli?

Carlitos: …….. {Chews, while staring straight ahead.  Takes a calm sip of water.  Still stays silent.}

Husband: CARLITOS, do you want ONE or TWO more ravioli?

Carlitos: Want to see me do my stomp dance?

Husband: CARLITOS, DO YOU WANT ONE OR TWO MORE RAVIOLI?

Carlitos: ……….

I start laughing and ask Carlitos the same exact question.  Nada.

I explain to Carlitos that we are laughing because we have asked him the same question four times and he keeps responding with non sequiturs like “Hey! I like bluebirds!” and “I am four years old!”  He doesn’t even crack a smile.

Husband: Carlitos, Do. You. Want. One. Or. Two. More. Ravioli?

Carlitos: {As if he is hearing this for the very first time and none of the above has taken place} Ummmm, yeah.

I double over laughing because even though I am freaked out by the craziness of my child, this is the most perfect payback EVER for my husband.  I can write him an email with a question up to six times with random other comments serving as his responses.  When I finally get him to answer whether he wants A or B his answer is always “Sure.”  Which, of course, does not even answer the damn question.

But yeah, back to my kids.  My kids are apparently certifiable.

Or eating mushrooms they shouldn’t be from the park or something.

Either way, not good.

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6 Responses to Crazytown ~ Population: 2 (my kids)

  1. Monica says:

    I think kids really do see things more than we do. My family dog passed away when Addie was just a few months old. Then she wasn’t at my moms house in a long time and we went there and were in my old room and she (at like 15 months maybe?) said “Hi doggy” to absolutely nothing. Maybe she saw Sammy :)

    I met a woman once whose 4-5 year old claimed he used to ride motorcycles and that he died in a motorcycle crash when he was 16. She said he had the same details, story never changed for like 2 years, then one day he stopped talking about it and had no recollection of it when he was older.

    ooooOOOOoooo

  2. Zoë says:

    You are far more patient with the non-response-response than I am. That’s all I can say on that topic on a public blog like this one. :-P

    I thought C could see dead people when she was a baby (not really, but she would often focus on and babble to things I couldn’t see). I think their brains are such a mess of neurons firing off for the first time in all different directions, that who know why they say/do whatever it is. Although by X and R’s age, I expect them to make a little more sense! It is strange to have a younger sib who is so much less verbal than the eldest. I remember being kind of shocked when Cleo’s little friends weren’t completely intelligible by age 2, because I assumed all kids would be like her. You learn new things from every child, I guess.

  3. Mary says:

    Everytime I read RMC, I think…….”I knew her when…”

  4. Monica – So freaky! It is definitely true that babies and kids are more in tune with some sixth sense because their other communication skills aren’t as strong yet. (This is my personal conclusion, not a scientific development.)

    Wait…Addie was saying “Hi, Doggy!” at 15 months?!?! Well isn’t she just a little show off! ;)

  5. Zoe – We are definitely not usually that patient about it, but this was so extreme and trippy that all we could do was laugh in disbelief. Believe me, typically we average 1.5 Time Outs by the time we have finished BREAKFAST, let alone by the time we get to dinner. ;)

    And yes, it is insane how differently children develop! Carlitos never stops talking, whereas Xavi only chats when HE feels like it, but Xavi never stops moving and Carlitos is a sloth who would be happy sitting on a couch for 6 days straight if we let him.

    Kids.

  6. Mary – Wait until I do something impressive to say that! haha ;) Like actually write that book, or get an advertisement on here, or get put in charge of the world or something.

    Then I will totally gift you a small country or something for being so kind and supportive.

    …And, you know, for years and years of bacon wrapped scallops and white wine. ;)

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