Having Xavi changed me.
Yes, it made me a mom of two. A mom of boys, plural. Someone who sometimes puts her children in matching outfits now that there are two of them.
However, perhaps the biggest change of all was inside of me…and I don’t mean that in some lovey, gushy way. This child actually transformed my insides. Up until about 9 months ago, I never burped. Seriously, never.
Okay, maybe, like four times in MY ENTIRE LIFE. But all four times they were tiny little burps. It always made me giggle because I wasn’t expecting it.
Now? Now I burp at least four times A DAY. At first this was cute and funny, too (to me anyway).
I can’t stop. I don’t know what to do. All day, every day, I am belching like a giant truck driver. (Not that it’s the fault of a truck driver. You try eating at a T & A every meal.)
Finally I got fed up enough that I did some serious research into this problem – i.e. I looked it up in Google. After much Very Important Research, I decided that I had Candida. I also reminded myself that two previous doctors have told me I have Celiac Sprue Disease, which I have apparently decided to ignore until there are any issues other than my stomach hurting anytime I eat.
After self-diagnosing, I then self-prescribed a program designed to alleviate my medical issues. Don’t you know? This is the best thing about the internet. No need to attend med school.
I concluded my research Sunday night and started my new ‘program’ Monday morning.
No sugar, No Wheat, No Gluten, No Carbs (except for some low-carb vegetables), No Alcohol and No Caffeine (There goes my Monday morning Karaoke Coffee!)
As I served Carlitos pancakes and juice, I scoured the kitchen for things my doctor (that’s me!) would allow me to eat.
Carrot sticks, blackberries, and almond slivers.
I was so proud of myself!
Until 12:41 pm, that is. When I cracked. And ate the rest of a huge bag of Pita Chips…and washed it down with a glass of juice.
Well, shoot. That didn’t go very well.
So, I did what any self-respecting person who slips up on a diet or program does: I quit.
All of this brings me to your Free Friday! give-away this week. You see, I think of my readers as my children, really. And as my children, I want you to do better than I can do. Be better than I am.
This week we are giving one lucky reader 3 (THREE!) free sessions with the Certified Holistic Health and Nutrition Counselor behind Your Intuitive Health! I know there is at least one of you that made a New Years resolution to be healthier or lose some weight. This is someone who can help you do that the right way. (Hint: It doesn’t work to try and eat nothing but carrot sticks and almond slivers for the rest of your life.) Like, she actually learned how to help people, unlike some doctors who just type stuff into Google and then make an educated guess (that’s me again!). She can do the sessions over the phone so it doesn’t matter where you live…unless you don’t have a phone, I guess. But I don’t know why you are on a computer right now if you don’t even own a phone. I digress…
Listen, if you have any ‘issues’ at all with food, nutrition, or health, or could use even a little improvement in that area of your life, you should enter. Because there is no harm in trying to improve our lives, right? Especially the kind of improvement that can add years onto your life and take inches of your waistline.
That is a pretty cool kind of life improvement.
All you have to do to enter is leave a comment below about how or why you want to improve your health in 2011. Oh, and if you go to her site and sign up for her monthly e-newsletter, tell me in your comment that you did so and you will be entered in the contest twice! (FYI: I subscribe to her newsletter. It is always informative and not frequent enough to be annoying. Truly.)
Go on, do it. I have heard rumors that life is a lot more sweet when you don’t depend on sweets for your happiness. And you and I both know that rumors are almost always true. Oh, and also let me remind you that Bathing Suit Season is peeking RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
You have from now until Monday at noon, EST, to enter to win. Good luck!
***Congratulations to our lucky winner, Erin! Here’s to a healthy 2011 for you following your sessions with Your Intuitive Health! Contest is now closed.***