My First Vlog! AKA: Evidence That I Truly Write Exactly Like I Speak…Nonsensically

Sometimes I paralyze myself.  Not in, like, some magic power sort of way, but more in a ‘Yeah, I’ll do that once everything is perfectly aligned.” sort of way.

Guess what? Nothing is every perfectly aligned.  I should know this.

I’ve written about this issue before, this ability to stop myself from doing something because I don’t think it will be good enough, let alone as perfect as I actually would like.  However, I am happy to report that I seem to be having some sort of personal growth and am working on changing this tendency.

My first foray into “Hike up those Big Girl Undies and just do it!” is vlogging.

What is vlogging, you ask?  It’s just a fancy weird way of saying ‘video blogging.’  When I attended BlogHer this summer I had several fellow bloggers tell me that I should really start vlogging.  Mostly this chick.  Since then I’ve had some other people tell me the same thing.  So my supportive husband bought me a little stand to hold my iphone and a special mini microphone.  I carried them both with me everywhere, telling myself I would come across that perfect moment to do my first vlog.

It’s been three months.  Yeah.  Notsomuch.

Yesterday, someone from high school randomly told me that he stumbled across my blog, loved it and thinks I should find a way to make it into TV or something…so that I can grace the cover of US Weekly someday. (He earned extra points for referencing a specific blog post and personal goal. Only 478 more points until you earn a mini, mini, mini kooshball, my friend!)

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  Or maybe the power of hearing my name, TV and US Weekly all in one sentence was just too much for me to fight.  I had to try something.

So, after waiting months to find the perfect setting, topic and moment, I ended up deciding that 15 minutes before rushing out the door was the right time to record my first vlog.  With no specific topic in mind, let alone anything deep or meaningful, I forged ahead.  Oh, and I realized the camera stand and microphone were in the car, but was too lazy rushed to go get them.

Also, seeing my teeth up close in video makes me suuuuuper excited that I wore braces not once, but twice (!), and then refused to wear my retainer afterward.   Idiota.

Hi, my name is Annie:  I will choose tomato sauce because it is 20 cents cheaper, but then waste thousands of dollars by not putting on a stupid retainer at night.  Sigh.

Okay, at this point I’m just stalling.  Without further ado…A whole lot of rambling:

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17 Responses to My First Vlog! AKA: Evidence That I Truly Write Exactly Like I Speak…Nonsensically

  1. Nichola says:

    Loved your first vlog! It’s wonderful to hear your voice! I think your question is a good one. Are we more likely to cover up and hide our wounds or let them be seen? Of course we all have our different approaches, but it does feel like a question about the human experience in general. It’s interesting that you talk about “milking it” and getting attention for them. I see it a little bit differently. I feel like letting both our physical and emotional injuries be seen is a way to heal, a way to talk about what we’ve been through. There are definitely times when covering up our wounds is smart and necessary, but we also know when doing so won’t do us any good and when exposing them will help us and make us feel seen. Maybe not covering up your neck on date night was not about “milking it”, but to say, “Yes, I have bruising on my neck because I had 8 (yes, 8!!!) biopsies taken and anyone brave enough or interested enough to ask me about it can hear about my experience.” Maybe we don’t cover up somethings because we know they aren’t worth hiding from and we try to hide others because we aren’t ready to talk about them or let them be seen… even if we’re only fooling ourselves.

  2. Crissy says:

    Geeat vlog!!! i would pull the camera lower so it doesny look like you are straining gour neck when you are talking to it.
    as for the answer to your question, Yes I cover up those things bc it’s nobody’s business to know what happened. You don’t want a single life experience to define you. But everyone is different. It also depends on the level of trauma. Something like biopsies that are thankfully benign, isn’t that traumatic. Maybe if you had a thick scar across your neck, you would feel differently? I don’t know. Either way, you are beautiful and keep up the vlogging!

  3. Nichola –

    Wow. I love that you are able to see the deeper truths in a topic that I rambled about in a bit of a goofy, snarky way. You’re right, sometimes maybe we do need to share and talk about things that happened to us…and sometimes we don’t. I think it depends on personality AND what the experience was.

    And maybe using the term ‘milking it’ is a preemptive defense in case someone judges me for talking about the biopsies even though they aren’t the worst thing that could happen to someone.

    You’re so astute, lady. What? Did you, like, study human behavior and psychology or something?!?! 😉

    Thanks for taking the time to think and discuss…and for the support. xo

  4. Crissy –

    You are totally right. There is a huge difference between some bruises and cuts and permanent scars. Also, like I was just saying to Nichola’s comment, I think the event that caused the scar/bruise, the placement of the injury, our own temperament…all factor into whether or not we choose to cover it up.
    And…I just may have a thick scar across my neck soon depending on the doctor’s recommendations, so perhaps I will find out first hand how I might handle that. Perhaps it will be another vlog down the line!
    Also, thanks for the technical tip! I am hoping that using the stand and microphone next time will help alleviate some angling/volume issues!
    Thank you!!!! xo

  5. Lisa sims says:

    You know how i do…..pop the collar or shirt and tie….

  6. Lisa,
    I cannot tell a lie (well). I didn’t consider shirt and tie, but a popped collar could have worked! I do love a high collar.

    It does work well on you, though! I especially like your high collar zip-ups. I’m a big fan, too. And they kind of make me think of Grampy Buddy.

  7. Julie says:

    Just speak up and wear a scarf. People are mostly thinking
    About themselves anyway.

  8. Julie says:

    Speak louder and wear a scarf.
    People are mostly thinking about themselves anyway.

  9. Jess says:

    Annie – that was great! The quiet asides had me laughing (okay, maybe snorting) out loud and I loved your Homeland reference. Also, like someone else said, it was just nice to hear your voice (even if it did sound like you were whispering). Keep it up! You’re braver than I, lady!

  10. Julie –

    Ha! This is true. 🙂

  11. Jess –

    Perhaps ‘crazy’ and not ‘brave’? Ha. But thank you!

    Yes, I think the microphone will help next time…AND not having the babysitter and kids in the next room. I was a little embarrassed and *possibly* whispering. 😉

  12. Nina says:

    Nice! I am an avid vlog stalker (I mean follower) and this was great. I have a silly question…are you hoarse or just talking low? It sounds kind of sexy…just wondering 🙂
    I am also an attention whore, but I feel like I would not cover the wound because it would be too much work. I am excited about this vlogging. I hope to see you more often 🙂

  13. Nina says:

    Ps. Clearly,I am in to smiley faces!

  14. Nina says:

    Okay. Clearly I should read the comments and responses before asking redundant questions. My bad!

  15. Nina 1, 2 and 3,

    Thank for the multitude of fabulous comments! 😉 I, too and very into smiley faces of all kinds. I can relate. 😉

    So, yes, whispering…but now that I know it sounds sexy, I’ll know what to do if I ever want to take this blog in a different direction…

    And yes, you will be seeing more vlogs. I will be making an announcement very soon about a new vlog series I am starting up. In fact, perhaps we can even figure out a way for you to be on one of the episodes! 🙂

  16. FutureOwnerofKoosh says:

    Nice start, stardom awaits…

    Oh yeah, and how many points for:

  17. I love this vlog series!

    As for covering up, I had a spot removed from my nose. And I couldn’t wear makeup. Worse, I had to wear a band aid. When I took the band aid off, there was a huge scab.

    I decided to follow the doctor’s orders and not put makeup on. I think there was time when I would want to hide something like that, but because I am more comfortable with myself and working through the need to justify myself to others, I decided to just let it be.

    However, I think Nicola said what I am trying to say much more eloquently that my attempt here.

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