Men*

*Said in the “Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.” tone of voice.

More specifically, my man.

He had a Stereotypical Male Moment the other night.  The kind that left me wishing I had given him a list.  You know, of what things to do and the *correct* order in which to do them.   A life guide, of sorts.  From me to him.

We had just come in from a 4.5 hour drive home and it was the boys’ bedtime.  We still had to quickly feed them, change them and get them to bed.  In a hurry.  So, I started doing the diaper-changing and pajama-choosing.  Once I was done, I came out to the kitchen to see about dinner and I noticed something.

Hmmm.  That container of cherries soaking in brandy wasn’t that full when we left the house four days ago.  I wonder how that happ-  No way.  Seriously?

Baby, did you already pour that new bottle of bourbon you bought into the container with the cherries?

Yes.

Really? That was the first thing you did when you walked in the house?  The top, numero uno, most important priority in your mind?

Yes.

Well, alrighty then.  Glad to know where you stand.

To be honest, I had to laugh.  I mean, clearly he must have been thinking about his ‘cherry brandy/bourbon’ experiment for that entire 4.5 hour drive. (We perform lots of experiements in our home.  Often pertaining to alcohol.)  Plus, yeah, that whole 4.5 hour drive thing.  He just drove the whole way home without a single complaint, I guess he can do whatever he wants once we get home.   Even if it makes no sense to me.

And he is a pretty great guy, I have to say.

I mean, we are talking about a man who tells me how beautiful I am, how hot I am, how much he loves me and how proud he is of me daily.  Daily!

“Well, he should!”, you say.

I guess.

Except that there are many, many days where my hair is so greasy that it looks like it did that time in 8th grade when I added Aloe Vera to a bath. (Never, ever put your hair in an Aloe Vera bath.  Trust me.  Especially not during the most awkward and cruel years of life.)

And days where I accomplish pretty much nothing.  Except maybe adding some empty candy wrappers to the trash bin and baby food stains to my sweatpants.

Days where multiple people ask me when baby #3 is due.

Weeks where I realize I have worn the same outfit several times.  And kept it on as pajamas in between.

And yet, that man is still all up in my business.  With his love.  And his attraction.  And his devotion.

Meanwhile, working full time, going to school and being an amazing daddy and husband.  Pretty easy on the eyes himself, too.

So, I guess he can put his liquor concoctions first sometimes.  But I’m still gonna laugh about it.

Men.

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5 Responses to Men*

  1. Monica says:

    Um, something similar happened in our house just two days ago (our lives are parallel sometimes). We were at my mom’s house all day and by the time we got the kids home, it was late for dinner and they were both cranky and hungry. S chose that very moment to…help me finish making dinner? Get the kids set up in their chairs with respective bibs, drinks? NO–he chose to glue the magnet back onto a surfboard shaped bottle opener refrigerator magnet that we bought on our honeymoon almost 6 years ago and has been broken for….a YEAR. Yes, this was the moment that he had to run to the office to search for the strong glue to do this. MEN. But yes, he also spent that whole day with my extended family, being such an awesome dad/husband that my mom and aunt kept talking about how different husbands are these days and how lucky I am. I know I know, but still…..:)

  2. your man sounds pretty dreamy, he loves himself a stiff drink and he thinks you look hot in your baby food sweatpants. Sounds like a wonderfully delightful combination to me.

  3. Julie says:

    Would you want him any other way? You are a great team.

  4. Monica! That is SPOT ON!
    I totally get that many of our husbands are very different than, perhaps THEIR fathers, for example…and all of the generations before that, as well. Ours are helpful, involved fathers and husbands.
    However, they are still MEN. And men, quite frankly, are odd, odd creatures. Not complicated exactly, but certainly odd. I mean, cherry bourbon and fridge magnets?!? ;)

    Hippo Brigade – Oh, he IS dreamy. :) I only tease him because I love him. Did I mention he does the laundry, too? Dreamy……

    Julie – You know I wouldn’t!!! Thanks, I think we are, too.

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