You know those close friends that you never end up speaking with as much as you wish you did? But then that causes you to actually not pick up sometimes when they call? Because you know it can’t possibly be a ten minute conversation; it will be at least an hour-long chat in order to both catch up on everything that has happened since the last time you spoke? You know when that happens?
It’s happening now. Only you guys are my close friends. And instead of not picking up the phone, I’m not sitting down at the keyboard. Because I have about ten different posts I want to write. So many things I want to talk to you about. Hear your input. Find out similar stories from you. Vent my own frustrations, ponder strange interactions and brag about things that made me proud.
But I only seem to have 30 minutes of free time at most lately. For the non-bloggers reading this: 30 minutes is not typically enough time to write a well-thought out blog post. Which could also explain why my posts are so often rambling and cause you, the reader, to give me side-eye through the computer screen.
In any event, all of the things I want to talk about got pushed out the window this morning when Xavi woke up with his left eye almost swollen shut. Don’t worry, I already harassed a pediatrician friend first thing this morning and then called our pediatrician…and will be going in for an appointment soon. (Hence only 30 free minutes to write) Yeah, I don’t do swollen, bumpy or rashes well.
Vomit? No biggie. Fever? I got this. Snot for miles? My forté. A cut? Here comes Nurse Annie with antiseptic, bacitracin and the perfectly-sized band-aid.
But lumps of any sort? Nuh uh.
They give me goosbumps (which is ironic, yes), gag reflex and a racing heart as I imagine all of the horrible diseases that are about to start eating flesh or evolving into a living, breathing thing underneath the skin. Creeptastic.
So Xavi’s eye this morning? Yeah. I went off the deep end a bit…while my husband calmly told me to throw a cold compress on it and wait for it to go away.
And, this? This is life with kids.
Life is surprising enough. It throws diseases, accidents, violence and death at you without warning. (Yes, it throws happy surprises at you too, but that isn’t conducive to my point right now. Stop nitpicking.)
But life with kids? Yikes, man. Right when you think you’ve got everything under control because someone starts doing their man-sized bowel movements in a toilet instead of a diaper, ant armies have retreated and everyone’s variety of ten-day antibiotics have finally ended, BAM. Your youngest wakes up looking like this:
Kidding, he doesn’t swear. But if I cussed on this blog, I’d have a perfect caption for what it looks like he’s saying here. Clue: It was the exact word flashing in my mind when I saw him.
So, once again, I don’t have time to catch up for an hour. I wish I did. I miss you. But, like most of you, there are just too many darn fires to put out daily. So maybe I will just keep writing about the fires until they pause long enough for me to ask your opinion about pregnant moms drinking diet shakes or dancing in night clubs. (If you know me, you know which group is me and which one is the group I am not-so-secretly judging.)
Seriously can’t wait to gossip soon. For now, I’m off to find a way to heal Xavi’s puffy eyelid so that I can stop having the heebee jeebies he can be a healthy guy.