Kind of Bleh

It has been 27 days since I had surgery.  Two and a half months since I was told I had cancer.  Both experiences are still vivid in my mind if I choose to replay them.  But both also kind of feel like an eternity ago.

I think for that reason, I keep wanting to write on here about something funny and non-cancer related, but it just isn’t coming.  I want it to be completely in the rear-view mirror.  To actually feel as great as everyone keeps telling me I look.  Which doesn’t make sense to me in the first place.  I have greasy hair from showering only twice a week due to how difficult it is with these steri-strips, I have bags under my eyes, and I have 45 pounds of awkward, extra weight taking up residence everywhere.  I feel sad at least once a day,  I feel exhausted by 2:00 pm and my bloated tummy won’t deflate despite detox shakes, salads and yoga up the wazoo.

I don’t feel great.  Thankful, yes.  Great, no.

Hopefully, much of this will change once I see the Endocrinologist and have my Synthroid adjusted, but some of it will be an ongoing battle off and on for life.  So, I am doing what I can to hunker down and build new healthy habits that will help me maintain a healthy body and a happy spirit.

Other than caring for the boys and our home, my life currently consists of learning how to eat dairy and gluten free and making myself do yoga every day with my husband.   There hasn’t been much hanging with friends, fun cocktails, gooey food, high energy exercise classes, outdoor adventures with the boys, date night.

Life has been a bit boring, to be honest.  But I guess it has to be for right now, while I figure this out and still give my body some time to heal.

And in case you can’t tell, I’m not feeling super humorous.

So, that means I don’t have a witty one liner to tie the end of this post back to the intro.

So, um…

The end?