I’m Just Glad They Didn’t Start With the ‘Yo Mama’s…’

Oh, hey…whatcha doing over there, Cahlitos?  I thought you did ‘Big Boy Workbooks’?  All I see is fruit.

They are fruit kebabs, Xavi.  I am doing patterns, see?  And honestly,  I’m not sure I like your tone.

Do you see what I deal with on a daily basis?  I ask one teeny tiny little question about his “work” book and the accusations start flying.

Oh, yeah, because you are just Mr. Innocent!  Why don’t you stop waving your arms around, man.  Leave the Seinfeld impersonations to Daddy.

…uhhh, I’m sorry, but are you for real right now?

Yes, I’m ‘for real.’  Who talks like that?!? You are wearing a DIAPER, for crying out loud! How can I take you seriously? Sit. Down.

Can you believe this ish, Mommy?

And your tummy is way too big for your body. Just sayin’.

Ohhhhhh no.  You did NOT just go there…Señor Cabeza.

You listen to me, little boy.  You are a tottler.  A TOTTLER!  Do you hear me?  You will RESPECT ME.

Pssst.  Hey, Cahlitos – your “work” book is still upside down there, Big Boy.  Maybe you should stop running your mouth.

You are the WORST, Xavi! It is SUPPOSED to be upside down! You wouldn’t understand, since you are a TOTTLER.  Why don’t you come back to me when you can eat something without getting it in your HAIR and can put your shoes on the RIGHT feet!

Seriously?  I mean, could it BE any easier.  It’s almost TOO easy.

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14 Responses to I’m Just Glad They Didn’t Start With the ‘Yo Mama’s…’

  1. Denise Grassart says:

    This is hysterical, Annie. I see a “two man show” in their future- vaudeville. ;-)

  2. Denise- They are definitely a funny pair. There is actually a video that goes along with this scene that is pretty funny…my mom has the link. ;)
    Thanks for the comment love!

  3. autumn says:

    hahah…this is hilarious! i can actually see this really happening!

  4. Autumn – It possibly did…almost. Kinda.

  5. Zoë says:

    It is perverse how funny watching kids fight can be. The other day my kids were at it again, and Cleo raised her “claw hands” to Rafa with an wild-eyed expression in her eyes. He smacked her hands down and yelled, “NO TANK YOU!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

    I do have a no retaliation rule for Cleo. She can say “No,” emphatically, push him away if he’s on top of her, etc, but she can’t do pre-meditated violence to him as retaliation. What’s your rough-housing policy, if you have one? You might have told me before but I forget.

  6. Julie says:

    I am still fascinated w Xavi’s diaper. Is he wearing a leftover baby diaper?

  7. Anne says:

    This is too funny…I could not stop laughing:-)
    Even funnier than the baby on the Etrade commercials.
    Next job for you Annie, comedy writer!

  8. Zoe – I’m laughing just thinking of Cleo’s claw hands. Carlitos has claw hands, too!

    Rough housing is hard because my husband wrestles with both boys almost daily. I DO tell the boys they can’t hit, kick, push or bite each other ever. And as soon as one is angry I try to remind them both ‘no hands!’ …but honestly, I’m not perfect with their physical interactions. I could probably use some clear guidelines to follow. Let me know if you ever come across those! :)

  9. Julie – It’s just the perception. You ever seen the ‘diaper’ on a sumo wrestler? Yeah, looks tiny.

  10. DJ Julia Marie – Thanks!

    (your name is longer than my response…just FYI) ;)

  11. Anne – Thanks! What a compliment. I LOVE the etrade baby commercials.

    If you hear of any open jobs, please feel free to give them my name!! ;) This one doesn’t pay so much.

  12. Jess says:

    Annie! I don’t know the last time I laughed that hard! Your boys are adorable and your commentary is hilarious. Thank you for brightening my afternoon.

  13. Jess – Thanks! Your comment brightened MY afternoon! :)

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