Today’s feeling: OVERWHELMED.
Brought to you by, well…by lots of little things combined, I suppose.
Disclaimer: I know: Super blessed. Lucky woman. Life is good. Could be way, way worse. Yada yada yada.
Still, we all have craptastic days, right?
Fortunately, I have lots of outlets and emotional support. I can share my emotions on Facebook and hear words of encouragement almost immediately from my mom, cousin, friend and prima. A fellow mommy blogger friend gives me a shout out on Twitter to include more chocolate and coffee to brighten my day. (She didn’t know I was way ahead of her. By 9:00 am.) When I upload photos of Carlitos’ vibrant artwork and Xavi’s beautiful curls on Instagram, it helps remind me just how fortunate I really am. Emails from a friend discussing possibilities of playdates and vacation getaways (Even if the latter isn’t a true possibility at present.) make me happy that someone wants to hang with us, even though I am feeling failure-y today. And texts from another neighbor and friend debriefing the night before and asking what SHE can do for ME today (Even though she already watched both kids for three hours yesterday since all sitters couldn’t and I had to work!) today make me feel like I am not in this alone.
Then, of course, there is this blog. My biggest outlet of all. Honestly, I feel a little better even after writing the paragraph above. Venting isn’t always just about releasing your negative feelings apparently. Seems like you can use it to talk yourself around in a circle big enough to deliver you back to reality: Things aren’t really so bad.
So, what the heck had me so overwhelmed in the first place?
A whole lot of nothing, I suppose. Or a whole lot of small stumbles, piled on top of each other on a tired day.
The house that I clean every day…but that always has crumbs, urine, arts and crafts materials, balls or empty sippy cups in some area of some room. Always.
The dishes that I wash by hand three times a day…but that almost never 100% vacate the sink.
The overflowing recycling. Just…period.
The arts and crafts ‘center’ I created that seems to bring the most joy to Xavi when he is emptying it, rather than using it’s (originally) nicely organized contents.
The weight that seems to determined to hang on for dear life, laughing in the face of my kale/swiss chard/grapefruit juices and kickboxing classes.
The mysterious bug bites on my legs and ankles that seem to afflict Xavi, too. The ones I stayed up googling last night for hours – yes, neurotically – until I couldn’t sleep because I suddenly felt itchy EVERYWHERE and could feel millions of fleas/mites/bedbugs/mosquitos/chiggers/louses/flies and recluse spiders climbing and jumping all over me.
The amount of errands and tasks I need to complete today…when I just feel like taking a five hour nap because I didn’t sleep much last night. (See above: Google images at 2 am = bad idea)
That’s really it, I guess. Like I said, nothing huge. I’m not dying. Nobody around me is dying. We have a home, food, jobs. Plenty of love.
I don’t know, am I the only lunatic that feels completely overwhelmed just by day-to-day life sometimes?