One Word, Huge Uproar

Faminism. Okay, push that picture of a potato out of your mind.  We are actually talking ‘family,’ not ‘famine.’   Now slide in a photo of a young, white, New York City mom waving her protest sign.  “Hey! Ho! Non-organic baby food has got to go!”  This is what the Blogosphere is saying ‘Faminism’ represents: wealthy moms who have the privilege of fighting for specific (read: trivial) issues related to their children.  It is difficult to say that they are wrong in this definition because the term is brand new and clearly still in its own self-exploratory stage, but is that really what this new word means? Does it really have to have such a negative connotation? Right out of the gate? Let’s give it a chance, guys.

The term was coined by Irina Aleksander in the article “Faminist Theory” in The New York Observer just a week and a half ago.  In that short amount of time it has created quite a buzz.  The problem is that many readers were not only somewhat confused by the intent of the article, and therefore of the meaning of this new phrase, but were even enraged by it.  Everyone knows that anger can lead us to say some hurtful things and possibly exaggerate or even read intentions that are not there.  Bloggers and readers have made some pretty sweeping statements, many to the effect that ‘Faminists’ are nothing more than young women who start a family because they do not feel like establishing a career or have no passion for future endeavors.  Ouch.

If you have read Ms. Alexsander’s article and are not 100% certain you understand what Faminism is all about, you can listen to her at 6:49 am on Monday morning in the Family segment of the national morning news program The Takeaway (www.thetakeaway.org), where she will offer some clarifications.  You can also go to this link Is Faminism the New Feminism? to read about the segment or click on podcast and listen to the interview.  I will be on the show as well, offering up my personal story as one example of exactly what one might call a ‘Faminist.’

So back to that pesky, evasive little definition…what is Faminism?  I can really only tell you what I think it represents, specifically in terms of how I would feel comfortable describing myself as a Faminist.  I am a 29-year-old, middle-class woman, living in Harlem with my husband and sons (2.5 years and 1 month old).  Motherhood has definitely come to largely describe my identity and day-to-day reality, but that does not mean that I do not still have passions, goals and other responsibilities.  I do not currently have a job, but I need to get one – fast. This does not necessarily mean that by this Fall I will be jumping back into my past profession, but it also certainly does not mean that I will be just doing, you know, whatever.  In fact, I take my career extremely seriously because it ties in directly to one of the issues closest to my heart: urban public education.  I taught in a public middle school in Baltimore and then in a public charter school in Washington, D.C.  I plan on returning to the world of urban public education when my children head off to school and until then I am doing my best to find other ways to provide for my family and fulfill my personal interests.  To me, this desire to start a family and still maintain other aspects of your life is what Faminism could represent, if we choose to look at it in a positive light.

Here is where I feel the need to clarify that Faminism, similar to Feminism, represents a certain group of women.  It would be irresponsible to make it seem like all women are judged equally when it comes to the age they decide to procreate.  My socio-economic status undeniably affects how others might view my choice to get pregnant with my first child at age 25.  Are there plenty of women who do not necessarily feel that young motherhood was a choice or who are judged harshly for being a young mom?  Absolutely.  I am grateful that I had a choice about how and when to start a family, a choice I owe both to Feminisits before me and to my lot in life. However, once you acknowledge that this term really only applies to a certain set, I personally do not think it is so wrong to come up with a term that defines this group of women who do  not necessarily feel the need to fulfill all of their career and personal goals prior to starting a family.  Yes, this is a luxury for us, but it does not make it any less real and to define it as Faminism does not take away from Feminism.

I have worked at a Women’s Health Center that provided all types of birth control and health services, even abortions, to women on a sliding scale, thus ensuring all women had equal access to these reproductive rights.  And yet, I am a mother of two before the age of 30.  I think the point of this new concept of Faminism is that those two parts of my identity do not need to be mutually exclusive.  The face of Feminism is changing and it now includes women who want to be a mom first and start, or return to, her career later.  Rather than regression and division, this is actually growth and inclusion.