Oh, now that’s just embarrassing.

You know what I hate?  Feeling like a slob.   A chubby slob, at that.  And nothing makes me feel that way more than when I spill food down the front of my clothing.  It makes me feel like everyone must be looking at me and thinking “She was eating so ferociously that she got it all over herself.  She disgusts me.”  Like, literally, I am certain that every person who glances in my direction is thinking that exact thought.  Maybe this means I have issues, but I am being truthful that I feel that way.

Well, yesterday I hit a new all time low.  I was holding John Xavier while I was eating and spilled chocolate sauce on his onesie.  When your own personal flaws start directly affecting others, especially your children, it is time to take a good hard look in the mirror, don’t you think?  Thank goodness it was a cheap Gerber plain white onesie I had purchased, and not of the painfully adorable outfits someone else bought for him, but still.  I had to look at that stain and not only feel disgust, but guilt. Bad mommy. Bad.

(“Hey you!  Milk Lady!  Get back here!  Look what you did to my sleeve! Not okay.”)

You want to know the best part?  As I am writing this I am wearing a brand new white beach cover up that has chocolate ice cream stains all down the front of it.  I just poured melted chocolate ice cream on myself today at the beach.

I’m sure that at this point you’re wondering why I am not only such a disaster while eating, but also why the heck I eat so much chocolate.  Don’t you know nursing moms burn 500 calories a day?  I mean, where else are those going to come from but chocolate products?  What? You think I should be consuming 500 extra calories of fruits and veggies?  Yeah, you’re probably right.  But then this blog would be called LookAtMeI’mAPerfectMom.com and let’s be honest, that would make you want to barf…even more than seeing me with ‘chocolate-designed’ clothing every day.

Share
This entry was posted in Real: my personal trials, tribulations and tales and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

Leave a Reply

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>